Polygamy, if allowed by law in Japan, is not practised; for although the great generally have a number of concubines, still one woman only is the wife, and she alone has the honour of being a hostage for her lord. Divorce is not permitted to the higher classes, but only to merchants, artisans, or peasants. The nuptial ceremonies are all fixed by law or custom, according to the rank of the parties; the number of presents to be given and returned; the duties of bride, bridegroom, father, mother, friends, and assistants all are strictly defined.
Japan, the Amoor, and the Pacific (1861)
Adultery, at least on the side of the woman, is seldom heard of, for not only can she be immediately divorced, but she most probably would be punished in a much more summary and fatal manner. I was sitting one evening with an American doctor in Hakodadi, when he was called away to attend a woman, whom her husband had almost cut to pieces on some slight suspicion of her infidelity.
Japan, the Amoor, and the Pacific (1861)
There are seven reasons which entitle the husband (who holds great power over his wife’s person and property) to dissolve the marriage. These seven grounds, laid down by Confucius, and chosen by the Japanese as basis for their marriage law, are the following ones:
1. Disobedience to the parents-in-law.
2. Barrenness.
3. A loose tongue and dipsomania.
4. Jealousy and envy.
5. Loathsome and contagious illness.
6. Theft.
7. Talkativeness; for, so says a Japanese proverb, “a tongue three inches long can kill a man six feet high.”
Since 1873 the woman has had the right of suing for a divorce, namely on the ground of ill treatment, or if her husband is sentenced to durance vile with loss of civil rights; but society frowns at the woman who divorces her husband, and the law gives the children to the husband, whether he or the wife gets the divorce.
Japan As I Saw It (1912)
In the present time marriages of Japanese with European ladies are no longer anything extraordinary, and I have been assured that most of these marriages have turned out happy ones. The European ladies find a friendly welcome in the Japanese society, and notwithstanding their blue eyes and fair hair, but thanks to their white complexion they are very soon celebrated beauties in the Japanese drawing rooms.
Japan As I Saw It (1912)
During my stay in Yokohama, a young Japanese, whose name I think was Tarō, was employed by an acquaintance of mine, an American gentleman, as a bettō, or groom. One day it came to the knowledge of his master that Tarō had been smitten by the tender passion, and greatly desired to take to himself a wife. Although poor, and belonging to the common class of laborers, he had saved enough from his moderate wages to pay the expenses of a suitable feast; and since he was certain that his six dollars a month would furnish ample support for a wife and family, he saw no reason why he should not marry at once. Through a friend he had learned that a certain young lady of sixteen was in the matrimonial market, and, as she was represented to him as possessed of every desirable attraction of form and features, to say nothing of her mental and moral excellencies, the susceptible groom had set his heart on obtaining her for his own. We ascertained that, by some means, he had succeeded in seeing her once, although she had no knowledge whatever of him.
According to custom, Tarō at once employed a mediator, who, going to the house of the girl’s parents, and, gaining their ear, proceeded most eloquently to enlarge upon the superior excellencies and attractions of his client; declaring that, although each of the other suitors for the young lady’s hand no doubt had his good qualities which commended him to their favor, still Tarō possessed such a combination of virtues that he would certainly make the most desirable son-in-law of them all. Without consulting the girl at all, a bargain was closed. Tarō was to advance a certain sum as a present to the parents, and also as a seal to the contract. Since it was an unostentatious marriage in low life, my friend and myself were readily accorded the privilege of being present in the little house of the groom, in one corner of the compound, when the final ceremony took place. It was about eight o’clock in the evening, and, on our arrival, Tarō appeared, dressed in his best, and attended by a few friends, male and female, all in holiday attire, all as gentle and polite as the Japanese know so well how to be, and uttering pleasant wishes for our comfort and happiness in well-chosen words of their soft and flowing language.
The little building was illuminated with gay lanterns, and bedecked with grotesque pictures; and every little household ornament belonging to Tarō or his expected bride was displayed to the best advantage. Presently the entire company formed a sort of semi-circle, sitting upon the soft, clean mats, and conversation became general, the natives chatting and laughing quite hilariously.
In the meantime the mediator, or friend of the bridegroom, and a government officer, or registrar, were completing the ceremonies at the house of the bride, by recording the contract made with the parents, to which the parents and the mediator signed their names, and the officer affixed his official seal. About half-past eight our attention was attracted by lights near by upon the street, and, in a few moments the mediator, the government officer, the parents, the bride, and a few of her select friends, presented themselves at the entrance of the cottage, and, removing their clogs and sandals, stood together upon the clean matting of the little veranda. At this point Tarō proceeded formally to welcome them, using the most elaborate terms known to Japanese etiquette, at the same time bowing and prostrating himself before them and bestowing all manner of humiliating epithets upon his most unworthy self. His courtesy was promptly returned by the father of the bride.
When this rather tedious performance was ended, the new arrivals proceeded to join the squatters already referred to, the groom and bride sitting together by themselves in the center of the room. After some unimportant preliminaries, the registrar, with much show of official importance, and after the payment of an appropriate fee, produced his book, and carefully recorded the fact that the bride was at that hour, and with time-honored observances, brought to the house of Mr. Tarō. The names of the parties to the contract and all those present at the wedding were added to the entry. After this came the supper, which consisted of rice, sweet potatoes, ducks’ eggs, meat, and fish, with a great variety of confectionery; winding up with an abundance of the best saki, alternated with pipes and tobacco. The feast was evidently as sumptuous as the purse of Tarō could possibly command, and was certainly most enjoyable. About ten P. M. the guests, including the parents of the bride, all took their departure with many bows and smiles and good wishes, leaving Tarō and his wife alone to get acquainted at their leisure—since up to this time they had never exchanged a word—and the bride especially had enjoyed no opportunity to determine whether her husband was agreeable to her or otherwise.
At present the position of woman is being more rapidly advanced in Japan than in any other Asiatic country. Girls are securing, in the public as well as private schools, an education better suited to their wants as married women; husbands, among the higher and more intelligent classes, are many of them proud to proclaim the fact that they honor and respect their wives, and accord to them their rightful position. Quite a number of advanced gentlemen have entered into marriage contracts which secure to the wife the same rights and privileges before the law that have formerly belonged exclusively to the husband. The government has set itself to improve the condition of woman by improving the marriage laws, and by allowing young people greater liberty in the choice of companions, and removing all restrictions upon intermarriage between the different classes of society.
Women of the Orient (1877)
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